Little to Do.

well time sure does fly. already we're in our last month of classes and yesterday was actually a month from Christmas so it's more like 3 weeks till I'm home, 22 days. (I swear, I'm not really keeping track).
I have found myself becoming angry at. . . myself, the culture around me, homework, etc. Mostly just today though. I understand most things just fine, but for those of you who know my problems with the English language can probably imagine that they are indeed cross-lingual. I find that my Grammar is horrible, my ability to write in Spanish is, well, should be advanced and isn´t. I can get my point across but I still have SO many problems. It´s not that I don´t understand the use of the verb tenses, it´s not that I don´t remember how to conjugate the irregulars, it´s that I can´t speak it or write it. I wish we had weekly papers here, even if they were just short essays so that I could write more. But I don´t. I wish I had Spanish friends to talk to and hang out with, but that´s something a bit beyond my reach at the moment. Making friends with people you know you´ll probably never see ever again is not something normal Spainards do. There are a few though, and it seems I´m out of that loop.
I find myself looking forward to coming home so that I don´t have to think about Spanish, so that I don´t have to do anything more in Spanish. That´s kinda a bad thing considering it´s my major. One time, so long ago, I would have said that I could live overseas, that I could and would live in Europe. Well, I lied. I don´t like Europe all that much, or maybe it´s just the Spanish culture I don´t like. YOu know, I never did like Spanish in high school.
Don´t get me wrong, my experience here has been great, the people are nice (the ones I talk to at least). I have learned a lot about myself, about the world, about the Spanish language, but all of it just seems trivial and easy. I don´t feel challenged, I feel frustrated. And it´s supposed to be that by this time, that after 3 months of living in the culture, I should be great, I should be comfortable, I should be sailing through the grammar. But I´m Not living in the culture. I´m living with americans (and a crazy woman), I´m friends with americans, I hang out with americans I have no real reason to speak spanish outside of class because I have limited interaction with people outside of the school. That is, aside from the elderly. They´ve become my friends. The ancianos at the convent, they love me because I can sing and because I´m pretty. there´s not one night that I go there that I don´t get called "guapa" 50 million times. But they´re all over 80.
anyway, ignore my ranting. I´m coming home soon, I am trying to learn as much spanish as possible, and I´m just frustrated today. It´s not entirely normal for me.

November 16, 2008 Sunday.

There's not a whole lot to talk about concerning my life at the moment (funny, I say there's nothing going on but pretty much am writing a book here). It is just like any other student (even though I'm in Spain) I'm studying almost non-stop because I have tests this week. 3, two on Tuesday and I think one of Wednesday but I wouldn't put it past them to have all three on Tuesday. We've had a long weekend this weekend (as we will have pretty much until the end of the semester) so Friday was actually spent out of the house. We met up at around 11 or 12 at the school and from there we (and by we I mean Cyndi, Kristen, Mari-Sol, and Renee) , we went to the Alcazar (pronounced Alcathar). We got in for free because we're students. It was pretty cool (view pictures). I believe it was built by one of the Spanish Kings in the Muslim style of architecture, incorporating things like gardens with flowing fountains and mocarabe encrusted arcs, etc. It's pretty cool although I really wish I could get to La Alhambra in Granada which is supposed to be magnificent (I have seen fotos and it is indeed amazing). I went home for lunch at 2 and around 5 I met my friend Cyndi at a bar to study grammar. That's pretty much all we did Friday. We didn't go out later that night, we actually watched Robin Hood (the disney version and a gift from my boyfriend. . . Thanks!). Saturday I met Cyndi again at around 11 to go to the Gypsy market on the other side of Triana (the neighborhood where I live, the main commercial center of Sevilla and the school is on one side of the river and the students pretty much, aside from two girls, live in Triana or Los Remedios). I hadn't been to the market before so it was interesting although I went with no intention of buying anything. It was insane, there were about 3 or 4 rows of stalls that went back forever. We never made it to the end. Cyndi bought 2 kilo of grapes for 3 euro but most of the time we just wandered around. The stalls had everything from fresh produce to jewelry and underwear to shoes and shirts and socks; accessories like purses and wallets, belts. Anything you could need at a great price. It was like one huge Chino store. Cyndi and I met up again at the same bar to study again at around 4:30. Unfortunately it became really crowded and noisy by 6 or there about, so we left to find somewhere more accommodating. What we found were the streets filled with people only to discover that one of the traditional processions of the area was happening at that same moment. Normally during Semana Santa every church has a procession with their own Immaculate Mary and they march through the streets. This was something like that but it wasn't a Mary, it was Jesus with his cross which explains the insanity. Unfortunately we didn't stick around too long to see much. We headed over to a café we had yet to try, VIPS, only to discover that the café we could get in any other place for one euro was almost two there. So the girls decided to go to McDonalds to study, they at least have tables. I decided to go home and study. I have spent today entirely studying, plus a bit of reading.
I should speak of the weather here in Sevilla. Before I left for Italy we still had warm days and it wasn't just in the sun but in the shadows too. But when we got back there was a chill in the air. We've entered into what their winter's are here. And it wouldn't be so bad, in fact outside is absolutely gorgeous. The trees are all still green, flowers are still blooming, we haven't had rain even though the forecasters keep predicting it. If there were not wind I would say it's absolutely perfect. But there is a cold wind that requires a jacket and a scarf, nights generally require a coat or heavy jacket. But it's the inside that's absolutely miserable. The houses are created to pull out all the heat in the house; 8 or 9 months out of the year it's a great system, but during the winter, during these months of cold, they're like an ice box. I wear more layers inside than I do outside. We have a little "estufe" heater that we plug in but it doesn't heat the floors. Moreover we try to conserve electricity so we don't plug it in all the time. Today is a good example of this. I have been in my room covered by my blankets studying today. Around 1 or so I went to sit on the patio to read and enjoy the sun, and as I was sitting there in the sun I was warm, even though the patio doesn't have window. But the sun gradually left me and moved behind a tree so I retreated back to my blankets and enshrouding jacket for warmth.
I suppose I should tell y'all what happened with my birthday last week. I was pretty sick up until Saturday, after that my senora had me keep taking the pills she had (miracle workers those) through Monday. Despite this we went out to celebrate Saturday night at a bar (the same one where we go to study). First we got kicked out of the couch area and then off the table where they put us after they kicked us off the couches, so we left. Monday my senora, Salud, bought some sweets for dinner to celebrate. My roommate got me a pair of Boots (totally unexpected and totally appreciated. they're black and kinda felty material) Kristen and Cyndi both got me earings (a purple pair and an orange pair). I really wasn't expecting presents and I really appreciated their thoughfulness. That was pretty much it for my Birthday. I had to go to the Convent that night to help with the elderly. They love us over there and they have us sing for they now. Mostly Silent Night (the first time they heard me and megean sing they made us sing Silent Night 4 times), we also sing hymns. Unfotunately they don't really relate to or understand the hymns because they're all Catholics and we sing protestant hymns but they get the gist I think. I didn't tell anyone that it was my birthday, I don't like being sung to, but I did tell the dishwasher/cook Loli, and made her promise not to tell anyone. She broke thar promise, but thankfully it was just 5 of us left in the Comedor when she broke the news to the nice old people, who then sang to me. It was really sweet. So that's how my 21st birthday passed. Already it seems like it never happened or that it's super far away.

Sick in Spain

So I've spent the last few days in and out of a fever. Well I've been out of it today, but yesterday I was pretty sick. My throat started hurting on Thursday morning, then by literature class at 11:45 I was already feeling under the weather, by the time I got home for dinner I had a fever and though I tried to sleep I couldn't but I had to go to class so I did. and when I came back Thursday night I was pretty sick and all Thursday night I was in a fever, I didn't sleep at all, and Friday morning I woke up or more didn't have to wake up because I didn't sleep, but around 7:30 I decided I was going to continue sleeping, or attempting to sleep, because My throat was severly swollen and I had a horrible headache and I had a fever of abour 101. it broke finally later that night. and today I just have a sore throat. All of this is thanks to Salud!

A Week away, A week of . . .

This morning I returned from my week abroad in Italy; it was definitely interesting and I learned a lot about myself and the Italian transportation system.
First thing: I get grumpy and snappy when I don't get food often enough. I'm not saying that I need to eat all the time, but a meal at least once a day is a good idea. By meal I don't mean a hunk of bread and some yoghurt. I need something more substantial.
Second thing: I don't like Italy, and I don't mean the pretty countryside of Italy, it's always beautiful. But the city, I don't like it. It seems that all the youth of Italy can do is spray-paint things and make things dirty. And there are so many people, everywhere. I know that's the life of the city, but it seems worse in Italy. There are just so many tourists, and I wasn't even there during the tourist season. moreover, everything's expensive, really expensive. Now, I never felt unsafe or uneasy about where I was. We were smart in our traveling, we stayed together, we watched our stuff and I kept an eye on the map wherever we went. (thank you dad for directionality, I am a Map Goddess). And some cities were pretty, some were fine, like Siena. However, I feel that industrialization has destroyed the beauty of all things. industrialization and electricity with its wires and antennas and power-polls, and capitalism with its clothing and demand for money money money. I was given this impression as we traveled from city to city via domestic train, through cities and not through country-side until we went from Rome to Milan; as we walked through ancient streets lined with luxurious clothing stores and cheap stores with umbrellas that break after 2 days. I find it disheartening. Those who live what we percieve to be our life-long dream withing the history and beauty of ancient societies have lost sight of the imperical value of all that is around them and see it only as a means to capital gain.
Anyway, enough of my depressing views. I was pretty and it was interesting, and now I'm poor, but I have a butt load of great pictures.
I'll be putting up some journal entries from my time in Italy so that you can read a bit about what I was thinking as i was traveling.

Rome

Thursday 30 October 2008
Siena is over with O! how I wish we were back there, rain and crazy bus rides and all. now we're in Rome or more accurately Tiber. The hostel is calle "Tiber village" and it reminds me of summer camps but worse because it's in Italy. The effort it took to get here was astounding. We took a train from Seina to Empoli, changed trains, and went to Firenze, changed trains again to the Rome Termini. At the train terminal we waited in line to get our departure tickets for a half and hour and just as we're about the third from next to go to the counter a woman attempts to get in the front from no where. So the kids at the beginning of the like hand no problem but the woman in front of us went into fits abou it. Then a guy behind us got the attention of the policeman who was standing about. In the end Kristen and I wer no worse for wear but all the people involved had to wait for a while until they cooled down before they could take their turn. So we have our Rome to Milan reservation set for Saturday at 1:30. We should get into Milan around 6:30 from there we'll get a bus to the airport and stay the night there waiting for our 6:30 am flight. There was almost no way to get to the airport before 5 or so and we wanted to be sure to be there. Anyway. . . To get to our trailer of a hostel we had to get on the underground metro from the train station (a dificult feat in and of itself). I almost lost Kristen as I shoved my way between the masses into the train car. I had to grab her hand and pull her into the car or I would have lost her. There wasn't room to breath let alone move in that car. From there we had to get the above ground train-transport to the tiber train stop and from there we waited for the shuttle bus. we discovered, to our dissatisfaction, that the shuttle doesn't run between 12-4 from October on and we just happened to be waiting at 2. So we waited a half hour then called. When we arrived and I discovered our lodging situation I began to cry, only slightly (think about it, it was a stressful day of travel and I hadn't eaten a whole lot, a little shack of a room was not what I wanted in that moment - I discovered I get really grumpy if I don't eat something regularly).
I should speak of our time in Siena and why I miss it. It was enjoyable. Tuesday we wandered around the city and say some cool buildings and stuff, then it began to rain. So we went into a pub/café for lunch were we had hot sandwhiches and a great view of the main piazza.
Tuesday night we attempted to buy train tickets to Rome. We succeeded, of course, but only after an hour long bus ride for what would have been a 25 minute walk. then we got on a bus from the train station back to our hostel and were unceremoniously dropped off at some unknown point and told to wait for the next bus which wouldn't come for a half hour. it was a chilly wait.
Yesterday (wednesday) we got into the center around 10am for the big market. It seemed that everyone else was going to the market and on the same bus. I think there were probably around 50 people on that bus. Kristen claims to have been violated in every way possible, I just got spun around like a top several times as people were attempting to get off the bus. We named it "the swirling Vortex of Doom" there was no air and NO escape. After deciding that the market was not worth our time or money we explored the fortress around which it was centered and then moved on to a book store where we found some good cheap english books.
With our books in hand we made our way to a café with no sitting fee and read for an hour waiting for a good time to get lunch.
We had a tour at 1:30 of the Chiati region north of Siena, it was what I needed to see: Beautiful countrysides, rolling hills undisturbed, villages of 20 people, and we were the only tourists. It was gorgeous and it restored some of my hope in the world and in Italy as well. After the countryside we went to a winery and were given a tour of the cellers with all the barrels of wine and then a wine tasting. By that time it was completely dark and we made our way back to Siena via winding coutry roads so that i ended up with a head ache.

Siena

Monday 27 October 2008
Today held another adventure of transportation. We made our way out of Pisa to Siena first via train and then we transfered trains at Empoli ad made it to Siena around 12:30. We then trecked a good 30 minutes up hill and on a street with no sidewalks to our Hostel: a room with 2 beds, a tv, an armour, and a bedside table. It's definitely "quaint" I took a shower (we have to share a bathroom, but we had to at the hostel in Pisa and it was rarely available), then we siestad until 4:30 after which we went for a walk. We're outside of the historic Siena so there wasn't much but housing, a McDonalds at a gas station, and a café or two. We stopped at one to get some Fanta. It was now 6:15 and we're pretty bored, it was already dark outside and had been since 4:30/5. And we didn't feel inclined to take a bus when we can't see anything to know our stops. So we watched Italian MTV waiting for 8pm when we felt ok about eating our dinner: bread with Nutella, an apple, some almonds, pretzles, and water. Tomorrow we're getting bus into town. I feel so incredibly disallusioned. I think that's the right word. I've had this picture in my head, a hope that parts of the world could remain untouched or that wurope would be different. But it feels poor. Everything seems run down, the buildings, the countryside, the people. But this may just be my impression from a cool, rainy fall day. We are incredibly spoiled in the US. We have so much and it comes so cheaply, or at least I feel it comes cheaple. i just want to have a place I can call home and I dont feel Europe is that place. Once, before industrialization, Europe's countryside still held something. They lie to us now when they tell us there is something to discover here. That was lost with the birth of the Tourist industry. I'm sure I would feel differently if I grew up here, if I saw more than dirty cities full of foriegners. But all those dreams of my childhood were based on history books and PBS specials. Sometimes it's like that, but the things I can afford are not.

Pisa

Sunday 26 October 2008
Today we're in Pisa. It wasn't much of a hassle to get here, like I said, we didn't have to pay for the train, but it was definitely an adventure when we got off the train. The only directions we had were an address and the supposition that the hostel was a kere kilometer from the train station. so we checked the map and counldn't find it so we walked around a bit. On our walk we found a train stop with the name of the street that we needed on it, "Mateucci". We we decided to wait for the bus, thinking it could be like the ones in Sevilla where you pay once you get on. But they're not, you have to buy a ticket in a tabacci, or tabaco shops. Unfotunately for us, it's Sunday and everything is closed. So we head back to the train station where there's a place to buy tickets and we hop onto the bus. We get off at the Mateucci stop and look around us only to discover that we've been dropped almost in the middle of no where. No buildings, no street signs. SO we start walking. Unfotunately in the wrong direction. Two hours after getting off the train we encounter our hostel (after asking several people, changing directions, and crossing the street twice) But No one is home, just a note that says to call. As it turns out the hostel had no hot water for the night so they moved us to a hostel in the centro. It was way more convenient. Instead of a probable hour walk to the tower it only took us 20-30 minutes miander to make it to the tourist center. Moreover the train station was less than 5 minutes away.
Now the tower is pretty cool, I have to admit, but that's about it. It was tall and pretty and there were quite a few people. I think it would have been a good day trip, hop on the train in the morning, explore, hop on again in the evening and move onto Siena. But that's not what we did.